Harry Potter, That Age, and Vision

Somewhere around nine years ago I had long hair. I also had a two year old and a new baby. The hair became a nuisance and I decided it was time to get it cut. So I went in to the hair dresser and had her work her magic. I walked out of the salon with that GLORIOUS I-just-got-my-hair-drastically-cut-and-feel-so-fresh-and-chic feeling. You know the one I'm talking about. ...unless you're a man, in which case, I'd guess I just lost you. Well...farewell then. On with the story....

The next stop in my day was the pharmacy. As I was leaving the pharmacist's window, an elderly man, with a smile that can only be described as mischievous, said to me, "Hi Harry!" Confused, I just looked at him. Not missing a beat, he clarified, "Harry Potter...just forgot your glasses, right?" I couldn't help but laugh and walk away.

Talk about bursting a woman's bubble. RIGHT after a brand new haircut...being mistaken for an adolescent boy. Dang it.

Sadly, I have a history of similar incidents.

In grade school I got my haircut really short and my dad called me, "Scott." (Reference to Scott Baio.) Just what I wanted to be...a teenage boy heartthrob.

Same haircut, walking through the grocery store...produce aisle if anyone cares...I overheard two elderly ladies talking about me (obvious by the staring). "He looks like Albert on Little House on the Prairie!"

Those were the glory years.

Back to the Harry Potter story. Fast forward about three years and I'm sitting at the opthalmologists's office. I'd had a change in my vision, but apparently it wasn't significant enough to require glasses. The doctor's explanation? "You're getting to 'that age.'" I SO wanted to say, "We're not talking about my mother here, ya know." But I didn't.

Well, bad news. The transformation is complete. I AM Harry Potter. And I have reached "That Age."

Let's hope I use my powers for good.

Farewell 2009...a Reflection

Stolen from Sunshine's blog...

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Rode on the back of a chiropractor's Harley.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
If I made a resolution, I can't remember it. I don't think I made one.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.

Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year, thankfully.

What countries did you visit?
No visiting this year...oh wait. I went to New Jersey/New York with Guy. But that's not another country, is it?

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Love for a lifetime. Is that greedy?

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 1. My wee lil ol' heart broke.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know if I "achieved" anything big this year. I started dating again, but don't know if that counts as an achievement, per se.

What was your biggest failure?
I don't know. (Aren't I being informative?)

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh I had a GREAT stomach virus in November.

What was the best thing you bought?
A little black dress.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'd deserve an award for pointing fingers and naming names here, wouldn't I??

Where did most of your money go?
Credit card bills...which actually shows that the question about whose behavior made you appalled and depressed should have answered "mine." Ugh, if only I could get out of debt!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Dating again.

Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

a. At the moment, it's a draw.
b. Same.
c. Again, same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing. And devotional time. And cleaning.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinating.

How did you spend Christmas?
With my girls and mom.

Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes...maybe too quickly???

What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I try really hard not to hate anyone. But there IS one new "difficult person" on my list.

What was the best book you read?
I don't think there was a single book that left me wishing for more...unless I read a new Lori Wick book. She always rocks. Wait...let me go peek because I think she had a new one this year.... Oh great. Can't find it, but googled and found she's had one out since March that I haven't read! Well, now I have something on my wish list, lol.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Josh Turner...you didn't know I discovered him, did you?

What did you want and get?
Help. My mom came to stay with us and help me with my girls.

What did you want and not get?
Committed Looooooooooooooooove

What was your favorite film of this year?
Was Mama Mia this year? Because I looooooooooooooooove it. No? How about All About Steve?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I don't recall. You know...they say that memory's the first thing to go.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Dreams come true?? Answers??

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Folks don't usually use the word fashion and Hillary in the same sentence. In fact, it's so foreign to me that I don't even know how to BEGIN to answer this question. I just try to keep the important stuff covered. :D Yes I just said that.

What kept you sane?
Who says I'm still sane?

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Greg Page. Always.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Hmmmmm....could it be the newly elected Obama and his "health bill?"

Who did you miss?
Dad

Who was the best new person you met?
Lyla. I got to hold her for like...an hour...when she was only a day old. ::siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh::

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Maybe I learned that one shouldn't trust too quickly. It doesn't hurt for people to prove themselves. And it's not like I suffered a real betrayal, per se. But I jump into everything with both feet (and my heart) and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That can really lead to hurt sometimes.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life's been showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?"

Happy 2010!

A Perfect Christmas...

It's what we all hope for, right? A perfect Christmas. Everyone "home" for the holidays. The perfect gifts. The perfect dinner. The perfect weather. Everyone getting along. Perfect traditions. Everyone healthy. Everyone happy.

Sounds like a dream come true, but how often does it all happen? Someone in the family doesn't make it home...or you couldn't afford that certain gift or it was out of stock...or the turkey is dry and you-know-who burnt the pumpkin pie...or slush or sunshine instead of a cold snowy day...turkey making people tired and grumpy... Auntie's in the hospital...Susie has the flu...or that sad look in Granny's eye hasn't gone away.

We wish for a perfect Christmas. We expect it and we stress ourselves over making things perfect. But think about the first Christmas. There wasn't a lot about it that was perfect, was there? I doubt Mary thought, "Perfect!" when she found out she was giving birth in a stable. Joseph probably shared her sentiment. All the political unrest at the time? Not so perfect either.

But one thing WAS perfect: God sent a Savior to all of us.

Well, I had a college professor who shared a little devotional thought just before our final exam one year. It was the BEST Christmas devotional I've ever heard. I sat there listening, totally hooked, but after the final, I wrote down notes. I can't find them anymore, so I won't do justice to what she shared with us but I want to share what I remember.

Rather than worry and stress over making things perfect, look with me for a moment at the original Christmas story. We all know the basics of Jesus being born to Mary in a rugged manger, etc. But let's look at more than that. Let's look at what the angels had to say.

They appeared months before...to Zechariah (the husband of Elizabeth who was Mary's cousin). The angel came to tell him that Elizabeth, who was barren, was going to give birth to John the Baptist...who would pave the way for Jesus. When the angel first appeared to Zechariah he was afraid. And the angel spoke, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard."

Six months later, another angel, Gabriel, came, this time appearing to Mary. Gabriel greeted her and Mary was troubled and wondered at his greeting. So Gabriel said, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God."

Then came Joseph's turn. He was troubled over Mary's pregnancy and had decided to divorce her quietly. But an angel came to him and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife...."

Finally came Jesus birth and there were the shepherds not far from his birthplace. "An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.'" Then they went on to announce Christ the Savior's birth.

Over and over, the angels appeared to people...humans...like you and me. And each time the people were afraid, worried, scared. And every time the angels told them, "Do not be afraid." Words of assurance..."your prayer has been heard"..."you've found favor with God"..."I bring you good news: A Savoir is born!"

So what do you say? Why don't we lay down our worries...or better yet, give them up to the same God who sent those angels (and His Son) to people like you and me.

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear's third verse says...

"O ye beneath life's crushing load, Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way With painful steps and slow;
Look now, for glad and golden hours Come swiftly on the wing;
Oh rest beside the weary road And hear the angels sing."

Merry Christmas, everyone. I pray that all of you can find rest and peace during this season. God bless you all. I love you!

I'm sorry it's a bit late. It was supposed to be my Christmas Eve post, but a virus tied up my computer.

What To Do, What To Do...

Man oh man, how I wish I could figure out what type of occupation would be...satisfying. As y'all know from previous posts, I'm on the lookout for a different job. For now I'm looking within the school system. (I'm desperate enough that I applied for Middle School today!) For personal reasons (like being there in the summer for my girls) it's a must. But I sincerely wish I could figure out what I REALLY want to do.

It's true that I dream of writing a novel. But honestly, part of me's afraid of that. What if I write and someone thinks it's ridiculous...like someone who's opinion I value. I mean, WHAT IF I wrote a novel well enough that it got published but people near and dear to me thought it was hokey or something. Or stupid. Or...whatever. Nevermind the little detail of actually writing something good enough to get published, lol. Who worries about that? Pfffft.

Know what? I'm a nerd. Self-proclaimed nerd, thank you very much. Okay, okay, other people have told me so, too. Or wait...maybe I'm a geek. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate betwixt the two. I like stuff like typing. I like short sweet projects that are in and out in a short time. Not something that takes months. I like creative things. I like working with graphics on my computer (not like I'm a trained pro, but I can play, baby!) lol I like things like...bouquets of sharpened pencils. Okay, that part's not true. But it's a fun part of "You've Got Mail." :D

AND I like technology. I like every new gadget that comes out. I don't OWN every new gadget that comes out but I do a bit more drooling over them than I should, probably. I like things with buttons. (Ok, Wiggles fans, I hope ALL of you burst out in "What's This Button For?" because secretly that's been my theme song for years now.)

And I love books. I love them so much that I ENJOYED working in the book section of a shipping department of a publishing house...because I was dealing with books. It wasn't like I got to sit and read them. I was picking them up and putting them with order forms and off they went to some lucky soul. But I liked it because it was books.

I'm crazy.

The end.

Sign up below to order your copy of my first book. Ha ha.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'!

Life can feel so crazy sometimes. And when it seems the craziest I have this tendency to want to just hunker down and do nothing...like waiting for a hurricane to move past. When it's at its craziest I just don't know where to start. Or I tell myself I don't know how to wade through all the details...or I'm just too scared. (Not in a big-bad-little-girl-scaredy-cat way, but just too apprehensive to make a decision.)

And change? I'm very reluctant about change...unless we're talking about rearranging furniture and then, well, look out, because I LOVE to keep it moving...mix it up. There've been places I've rented that furniture could only fit in one way and it...drove...me...nuts. But other changes I'm reluctant about. Well, truly...not ALL changes. When things are rotten, I welcome change wholeheartedly. (I'm NOT stupid.) If I really like or love something as it is, I can't imagine change being good...and I resist. Well, there are some things in my life that have become increasingly rotten and to make a change would be HUGE. Huge hassle. Huge task figuring out what would be best, what would work and fit around all the details of my life, and what results do I really want, anyway.

This week, I have begun to take action. My job has not been a good situation. I feel crushed/bruised by my superior and I have a very challenging group of students this year. The kids are FINALLY beginning to come around, but the other "garbage" is still there. I feel hurt and unwanted and it's SO hard to get up and go each day (although I'm working at even that...as much as I can.) So this week, after receiving what I think is pretty sound counsel from a friend, I started applying for other openings within our school district...a transfer. (So if you're thinking of me, you might pray for something good to come through.)

I feel better just for having decided to pursue a change. Life will still be crazy, I'm sure, but maybe it'll be the good crazy.

(I'm not saying Happy Thanksgiving until tomorrow.) :)

Say wha???

I teach kindergarten...as you all know. I recently went to observe a teacher at another school to see if I could get some brainy ideas to get a better handle on my very "active" class. I've adapted several of the little tricks (for lack of a better term) that the teacher used. One in particular has led to some humor and I thought I'd just pass it on...

When the class is being pretty noisy, losing focus, etc., I raise my hand high and say, "Give me five." The expected response is that everyone stops what they're doing, raise their hand high, and look at me. I don't know why, but it seems to work like a charm. However, Friday afternoon, I was losing them, so I stopped what I was doing and said, "Give me five." One of the rather...challenging...little boys didn't miss a beat. He immediately said, "Give me some sugar!" Bahahaha, who can NOT laugh at that?

Or how about this one...

When I was observing at this other school, the teacher was doing small group reading lessons. In their story there were two ants who desperately wanted this big red juicy apple but couldn't get it off the tree. So one of their ideas was to just yell at the tree, "GIVE ME THAT APPLE!" By the end of the story they learn to ask nicely and use mannerly words like, "please." Reviewing the story, the teacher asked why the ants couldn't get the apple in the early part of the story. One little girl said, "Because he was talkin' trash to that tree!" Then there were others chiming in about "trash talkin'." Very funny stuff from a five year old. Trust me.

Not earth shaking stuff here, but hey, it's more upbeat than last night's blog! :)...and for the record, that's something to be thankful for!

Heartaches

The Thanksgiving holiday is coming down the pike. It is...upon us. You can tell because of the massive CHRISTMAS-IN-YOUR-FACEness that is in every retail place these days. When it's THIS "in your face" it's undoubtedly turkey time...or past. And judging by the fact that I'm not suffering a turkey hangover, I can tell it's turkey time.

For some reason that suddenly reminds me of a sing-songy thing we used to sing and laugh at as kids... "he's a redneck, turkeyneck" (repeat about 1000 times or until your mom gives you that look.)

Anyway, it's time for digging deep and sharing what we're thankful for, right? I have SO much to be thankful for...but I don't feel it right now...which is downright shameful. (And I don't mean that flippantly.)

Instead I feel overwhelmed. I feel fearful. I feel like life is going to blow up in my face and when the dust settles I'll see that I didn't measure up. I'll find out that I'm not enough...for anyone or anything.

And there's a big part of me that figures "who can blame anyone for judging me so?" I can't think of an area of my life where I "cut the mustard." I realize that this is such a pity-party thing...but it's this big dull ache right now and I had to vent it. (Aren't YOU the lucky readers??!) I'm just not sure how to get a grip when I feel like this.

Do you know how dangerous dreams are? Maybe some people dream the possible, but I don't think I can. I dream of things that are not attainable. I don't dream of accomplishments. I don't dream of "doing." I dream of relationships. I dream of stuff like...being chosen. I dream of stuff like...being wanted more than anything else that life offers. I dream of real true love...and finding that it can be reciprocal and not just some romantic nonsense in my head. I dream of someone seeing me, faults and all, and just loving me anyway.

I know it happens. I have this awesome brother. (Don't tell him I said he's awesome.) He's married to his awesome little wife. (You can tell her I said she's awesome.) They love each other. Like...for real. They see the faults, but the love is there. It's solid. It's a fact. Like a universal truth. I can love that way...but what do I have to offer that someone would feel reciprocally? (Is that even a word?)

My brother knew...he KNEW...by the end of one date, that he he had found "the one." He KNEW. I'm happy for them both.

I just can't help but wonder how on earth I made such stupid mistakes. Did I totally mess up the plan that God had for me? Or was it meant for me to walk this road...feeling invisible and bruised?

For the first time in years, here lately, I've felt hopeful. Hopeful that life was going to unfold in a positive way and it's not that those hopes have been smashed. It's that the fear has been stirred. What if I'm not enough?

Tough question.

I now return you to your Thanksgivinginess...and hope to get going here wth some humor very soon, cuz, frankly...this blog was (dare I say it?)...sucky.