Does it MEAN anything? ... and some FUNNY stuff...

Do you analyze things? I don't do it all the time but from time to time things make me stop and think, "What did THAT mean?"

For example, I pulled up to the drive-thru window at Sonic today. My cup holder was full, so as they handed me my drink, I reached down and removed a cup, and tossed it in the floorboard. No biggie, I'll get it later. No one rides over there so what will an empty cup matter. But the chick at the window says, "Can I throw something away for you?" Never in my life (and I've been to way too many drive-thru windows) have I ever had someone offer to throw something away. So it made me wonder...what did that MEAN?? Was she saying I was being a pig with all the mess in my car? Or was she really just offering to toss an empty cup for me? Hmmmmm....

Things like that occasionally catch my attention and my brain will dwell on them for a while, debating what the person meant by what they said or did.

Like a bit later in the day as I was heading into Home Depot where I discovered my fluorescent lighting in the kitchen would cost $50 bucks to put new bulbs in. I decided I'll just do things in my kitchen during daylight hours and be thankful for big windows. Who needs electric lighting anyway? But that's not the point.... As I was headed in, I passed this man who was coming out and he gave me a huge smile and a hearty, "Good Morning!" Didn't know him. No one ever speaks to me (or other strangers) coming in and out of shops these days. But this man did. So I got to thinking, "What did THAT mean??" Does it look like I just rolled out of bed and it amused the man? Was I looking happy and friendly so he just responded to the look on my face? Or was this just a friendly person passing on some goodwill? Hmmmm....

This kind of analyzing is no big deal. But I get to analyzing things that really mean something to me. And then...I think the analyzing hurts me in some ways...robs me, I guess. Like, say, a gift from a friend. Not friends I'm really close to and secure with, but say...friends that I'm a bit insecure about but really wish I had security about. Friends I tend to maybe shower attention on...but usually things don't seem quite so reciprocal. Then along comes a gift from them and what do I do? I ask myself if they're just being nice? Are they taking some sort of pity on me? Or do they really truly like me? I decide it was a wonderful act on their part, that they're nice and that they MUST really like me. And then some time goes by without hearing from them and here comes the analyzing again..."It WAS pity and being nice. It HAD to be!" And then the thoughts start going in circles again. (Kind of like this blog.) Ugh.

I'm not generally that insecure of a person....................am I? Sheesh. I should never have gone for a serious topic.

Let's move on to funny stuff. How about another Greg Page concert story, entitled, "Oh No You Di'n't!!" starring my friend, The Mamma Mia Enabler, or Kristen for short. Our story takes us back to Nashville, July 2004, at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center. Kristen and I were standing in line after what was the second of two INCREDIBLE evenings of music, starring that talented man we all love, Greg Page. We were standing in line waiting for our moment with Greg. Pictures, autographs, eye contact. ::siiiiiiiiiigh:: I'm sorry, what was I saying?....................... Oh yes! We were standing in line, waiting our turn. Finally we have one more person in front of us and it's our turn. Way too much adrenalyn at this point. Can't....take....it. I have to plan what I'll say at first because if I don't I'll just stand there with this stupid grin on my face. One that you only see on cartoon characters. You know the one. With that equally stupid nasal snortish chuckle...and maybe a bit of drool, which isn't attractive at all. So I've been planning and preparing for this moment (okay AND the one the previous night) from the moment the concert was announced, right? I've got a whole list of things in my brain and I'm ready to launch.

During that day, Kristen and I had one of our usual adventures (and I'll save that for another day), the culmination of which was a few prints of a photo I'd had taken with Greg the previous night. I wanted my copy autographed. Ok, ok, here's the picture. Most of y'all have seen it before, but it's fun, so ...

So I'm one person away from getting up to Greg, and I open the photo envelope to double check the photos in there. Most would have told me it wasn't necessary. I would have told myself it wasn't necessary, too. But boy would I have been wrong!

Inside this photo envelope were the photos, yes, but there were OTHER photos as well. You see, I MIGHT just really enjoy my photostudio software. Maybe. It's possible. And over the previous year or so, I MIGHT have sent taunting photos to Kristen. Photos of Greg with his arms held open wide (Wiggling in concert) and a caption that says, "I love Hill THIIIIIIS much!" (Kristen and I war over him as if it were real...or we did back then...FULL SCALE war. lol) And there might have been a photo of Greg wearing a teeshirt that said "Hill ROCKS!" and bearing my image. Maybe. And there MIGHT also have been one of my family photos with my girls with a very carefully added Greg in with us....and a caption that said, "Happy Holidays from Dreamland." And there might have been several others...like ummmm...well there might have been some sort of wedding photo that someone took way too much time and attention to detail, all for the sake of the war of course, but otherwise CAREFULLY guarded. There MIGHT have been something like that, too. And...well...a few others along these lines that I can't even remember.

And what did I do upon seeing these? Well, first of all I had to pick up my eyeballs because they'd popped out of socket and rolled across the floor. Then I gasped so loud it's a wonder it didn't draw the attention I was hoping to avoid. I turned to Kristen and said, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!" She was thoroughly disappointed...which only BARELY came through all the laughing she did over my discovery. She had badly wanted them to go flying out when I got right in front of Greg and had me utterly humiliated and explaining why he'd been added to the family and well there was the wedding to explain and ummmm...well...mortification.

But she's really lucky I found them when I did. VERY lucky. I'd have pummelled her senseless with my wee ineffectual fists. Then there'd have been jail time and all kinds of horrors and this story wouldn't have been half as funny. But I still got revenge. Mmmhmmm... You see this photo?

Kristen used to be just to the left of this image. But she got cut. Yup. If you look really closely at his right collar, (not the one that is on your right, HIS right), you can see a sprig of blond hair. That was Ms. Enabler's. So let this be a lesson. Don't mess with me and my GP moments, people. I'll cut you right out of the photos. So don't make me do it.

P.S. - She DID get the one with him wearing a "Hill ROCKS!" tee-shirt autographed.

Thanks for the dream, Sunshine.

I'm blaming Sunshine today for a totally whack-o dream I had last night with none other than Big G. Ok, to be honest I only blame her because SHE had a good dream about him and I went to bed wishing with all my might to have a dream about him.

The only good part was that he wore maroon and denim...not yellow and black. He was Big G the man and not Big G the Wiggle.

First, let's set the stage, though. In the past hmmmm....6 years I've had back pain. I'm almost always fine during the day but when I wake in the morning (and sometimes before I wake) I have horrible, can't-ignore-it, back pain...which makes me get out of bed, which just makes me grumpier about it all. Usually when I'm just going to bed, I have no pain and can fall asleep in complete cozy comfort and get some good hours in before "the attack."

Well last night I was getting ready to go to bed just a little past 9, which is a miracle. I haven't been to bed that early in...well...can't remember the last time. But when I got up from the sofa and started to go to get ready for bed I felt pain in my back starting to come on. It wasn't sharp but I could feel it...all around the lower end of my rib cage. I tried to do some twisty-stretches to relax it all, but that hurt like the dickens, as my Meg would say. So I popped a couple extra-strength tylenol, downed some agua and went to bed. It was hard to find a painfree position but after quite a while I got one and I froze. Ahhhhhhhhh, don't...move...a muscle. And I fell asleep hoping and praying and praying that the pain would go away.

I've been in this battle to get on top of life (and on top of my house) for...forever...and was finally feeling real excitement at the thought of a productive Saturday. I haven't felt like that for...forever, either. So I thought, go to bed at a responsible hour, which I haven't done in like...forever, either. Then get up at a decent hour and get going with my day...and just WOW myself. And my heart was feeling great heaps of thankfulness to God for feeling this way again.

Okay, so I fell asleep, thankful, and really hoping for a good dream, lol. (So sad...I want entertainment while I sleep, please...or maybe I want to live vicariously through my dreams.) Anyway...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Around 5am I woke with just too much pain. I could NOT sleep like that if I tried. So I got up. It used to be that getting up and moving around made the pain *POOF* go away. So I got up. There was no way I was planning to stay up because while I wanted to be productive, it IS Saturday and I'd like to see daylight before I dig into my day. But I got up, ran to the loo...okay, gingerly stepped to the loo...and went to the fridge for a good guzzle of cold water. And I headed back to bed, still in pain.

I struggled for some time to find a position that was painfree and ended up settling for just less pain and fell back asleep. But this time...along came the dream.

I dreamed that Big G (as Sunshine so creatively deemed him) and his family and his deceased mother in law came to visit my parents' home, where my children and I were living with my parents...both mom and my own deceased father. So at present count we have two families...only two people who have ever met (Big G and I) ... two people who are deceased ... and an extra five people who are there by association.

Now, unfortunately my deceased father never made an actual appearance, but I knew he was there. Big G and his family were just spending a day or two at the end of their vacation before heading back to Australia. And the whole time they were there, I don't think Big G and I even said "hi." I kept trying to be in the same room, near him somehow, but he never spoke. (It was much like being in high school and having a crush who never saw you.) I kept trying to do something stupid on my computer and going back to being somewhere near him. Finally it came down to the final morning they were there. They were packed up and getting ready for us to take them to the airport (which seemed a whole lot more like a bus stop, but whatever). Big G was in the bathroom showering and my parents' room was right next to it. My mom was in there with the door open brushing her teeth wearing only a teeshirt and underwear. I went in to "advise" that she shut the door or put clothes on. She informed me the "underwear" were not underwear, but her pajamas. O...kay. I had shut her door as I entered to offer my sage advise. When I opened to go out, the bathroom was vacant and Big G was on the loose. So of course I started working my way through the house and found him doing back stretches on a big bed that was in some sort of common room of the house. (Aren't you glad to be reading this? It's a gift, ain't it?) According to my dream, Big G's diagnosis hadn't been orthostatic intolerance; it had been back pain that caused the same symptoms. O...kay. So he was stretching for his health, people! He finished up and moved on to the living room where everyone was sitting and stretching. I was in pain (yeah my back was invading my dream) and just hoping to get to at least give Big G a hug before he left...to say SOMETHING. But he kept ignoring me and I was not feeling real happy about that. Then Deceased Mother-in-law offers me some of Big G's medication. She asks if I'd like some. I refused, saying how much HE needed it and how I couldn't take it. She tells me to let her know if I change my mind and she'll send me some...and winks at me. I thank her, smile, and turn to walk away. Then she tells me how he took it and was cured. I had been walking away but when she said that I stopped. No more back pain? I could go for that. So I turn and ask if it's a muscle relaxer or just a pain killer. She says it's a muscle relaxer. So I ask if I can "just have one." So she digs in her purse (and despite her shiny bleached blond bob, she becomes something very reminiscent of an old Italian grandma) and she finds the medicine. Then she finds some Dentyne gum, too and asks if I'd like some of it. I tell her no, that I already have gum in my mouth. Then she acts real fast and shoves something in my mouth. I'm thinking "what the heck was that??!," thinking she had just forced her Dentyne upon me. Then I realize she'd stuffed the pill in my mouth. What am I, a dog you have to trick a pill into??? So I go get some water to wash it down properly...and I woke up.

Never a word with Big G. Never a hug. Nothing. A total disappointment and now in pain, too.

So Sunshine, if you don't mind...could you send me a GOOD dream with Big G?? No dead people. No back pain. And no snubbing on the part of Big G.

Now I've got to go. I've got to try to move around and see if I get to breathe painfree today or not.