Monday, October 20, 2008

I Don't Want to Go to School, I Don't Want to Go to School!

You'll have to excuse the mood...again. Man, you guys must think my moods swing as much as...well...something that swings a lot. If a man lived with me, he'd go bonkers. Of course I think that's part of the estrogen is free to ebb and flow all over the place so I can let the emotions go where they will. Lots of time to myself. Too much thinking time, maybe??? the subject, "I Don't Want To Go To School!" These weren't my words, although I don't feel a whole lot differently, ha ha. These are my baby girl's words. My Alli. My little one who finds school so easy and just goes with the flow...apart from some issues last year where she didn't want to be away from me at all. But we got through that and she'd been doing so well this year. Now the past several days, she hasn't wanted to go too badly. I usually hear about it when I tuck her in at night. Tonight's when she issued the proclamation, "I don't want to go to school!" repeatedly. And her reason?? "I miss Odyssey. School's not school without her."

Odyssey. Alli's best friend. The only place she ever saw the child was at school. Then one day last week, Alli came rushing into my classroom, sobbing. She ran into my arms and said, "Odyssey's going to a different school!" Alli didn't even get to say goodbye. Odyssey's last day had been the day before and no one had known.

Just like that. No warning. Nothing. Just here one day and gone the next and my little girl is heartbroken. Alli's fairly outgoing and can make friends pretty easily, but she and Odyssey had grown to be good friends throughout last year and the beginning of this year and now she's gone and Alli's so sad. And what do you do? ::sigh::

I can relate though. It's not the same, but I get that sad feeling sometimes too...where I miss someone so badly and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel that way tonight...and have for a few weeks. Just missing a friend and unable to do diddlysquat about it.

I was feeling a bit stir-crazy about it all afternoon and this evening. I should have found something else to occupy my thoughts. I was heavy hearted. I was craving some sort of food, but couldn't put my finger on it. Craving affection (other than tiny-kid affection, although that's precious too), but whaddayado about that either? The only adult I saw was my ex and ... not to be rude or anything but I'd rather run needles under my fingernails than hug him. Ya know...break my heart and you'll never touch me again syndrome. Between emotional and physical craving I was feeling a bit lulu. Maybe I still am. Ok, I am.

But back to Alli and Odyssey. The whole situation really kind of frustrated me. Why on earth does a parent send their child to school without telling them it's their last day and giving them a chance to say goodbye to friends? It's not fair to the child and it's not fair to their friends to at least say addresses or phone numbers, maybe? It just stinks.

So I guess I just pray for Alli. When you're seven, new friends can come fairly quickly, right? And maybe we can still get in contact with Odyssey. A play date would be good for them both.

...and now I'm going to just quit writing. I've tried to wrap this up a few different ways and keep deleting, so I'm just going to stop. :) Back tomorrow with something a bit more "up." a long lost photo of an MC or something, ha.