Saturday, March 7, 2009

Destroying the Myth

'Tis I, Hill the MythBuster! (I thought I'd go a little 80s on ya and go with "buster" instead of "destroyer," because it sooooooooooooo matters.

Men...if there are any of you out there...this one probably isn't one for you. If you proceed, it's your own fault. I'm going a bit TMI again, because mainly my friends read here and y'all need to be unscaredy-cat of mammograms if you've never had one. So really, guys, I'd appreciate if you'd just skip over this one. K?

Today I'm going to share my experience of "the mammogram" with y'all, because, quite frankly, the unknown freaked me out unnecessarily. So now, without further adieu...

I was nervous about the mammogram. I've never heard much beyond negatives and no one had ever told me much about what goes least not enough to have an accurate picture so there was an unknown. For example I had this idea they smashed your boob against your chest. I worried about a fractured rib. lol Ok, probably not so much but I know that even when I do a self check I feel every rib...and that's at the fullest portion. (And I DO use "fullest" a bit freely) I was nervous although making myself just chill.

However, I sat in the tiny changing room with nothing but a full length mirror to look at (while sporting such a snazzy "hospital" cape. Yep, CAPE, not gown, so they can flip that baby out of the way. I nearly felt like a superhero. A superhero facing her kryptonite, but a superhero none the less.) and I noticed my face was really red. I rarely get much color in my face. Not that I'm a ghost (BOO!), but I just don't get too rosy. I was pretty red. Two days before I'd been at the doc and my blood pressure was 119 over 90-something. The 90-something was not good. My bottom number is ALWAYS in the 60s so obviously there was some real stress happening. I figured as I watched my flushed face that my blood pressure was up again. Although, the day in between appointments I got it checked and it was back down to 119/65. That's about my norm. So I know it's circumstantial.

Anyway. They told me that if you feel a lump, they automatically send you to get a mammogram AND an ultrasound. My script was just for a mammogram. So they said that I'd get the results from the mammogram by the following Wed. and I should call my doc, ask if he had the results, and tell him I need the script for an ultrasound. It's automatic BUT you have to have written doctor's orders. She (the mammo-girl) told me my results would say I needed an ultrasound and not to freak out, because it was standard protocol since I'd felt a lump.

As for the mammogram itself, for those of you who are dreading getting your first someday... It was not painful at all for me. It was a tad uncomfortable...plenty of pressure...but they add the pressure gradually until it's to the appropriate compression, then you hold your breath and hold still while they duck for cover from the radiation, I guess, and they snap the photo. I THINK it's actually a porn lab, but we won't tell them until they do the ultrasound.

In my mind it was supposed to be pretty painful and something that happened fast and hard, but it was not that way at all. All-in-all I'd describe it as pretty gentle. Firm, absolutely, but it was gentle and not like some awful attack, lol. So if you haven't had one yet, don't go in with your blood pressure soaring over the unknown. Just be weirded out that you're going to put your boob on a table and let them start squeezing it like an orange they're trying to juice with a vice...from top to bottom and then again from both sides. That's just not right. Necessary maybe, but not right.

After I left the place I went home, cleaned out my car, including vacuuming for the first time in months (literally)...and that was a big job. You'd be appalled at my car if you ever saw it. And then I went and took almost all the toys out of Megan and Alli's room (they're sharing one now to make room for my mom who is coming to live with us) and then I took apart Megan's bed and moved it, put it back together and moved other furniture. I haven't done that much work on one day in months. And I went to the store! lol Apparently the blood pressure and relief from boob anxiety makes a bit of a housekeeper out of me. There is hope!

Now see? Does that sound all that bad? lol I'd been led to believe it felt like an automatic garage door shutting on you. In comparison it was really quite a treat. ;)

So what are you waiting for? Go get yours today! lol