Life can feel so crazy sometimes. And when it seems the craziest I have this tendency to want to just hunker down and do nothing...like waiting for a hurricane to move past. When it's at its craziest I just don't know where to start. Or I tell myself I don't know how to wade through all the details...or I'm just too scared. (Not in a big-bad-little-girl-scaredy-cat way, but just too apprehensive to make a decision.)
And change? I'm very reluctant about change...unless we're talking about rearranging furniture and then, well, look out, because I LOVE to keep it moving...mix it up. There've been places I've rented that furniture could only fit in one way and it...drove...me...nuts. But other changes I'm reluctant about. Well, truly...not ALL changes. When things are rotten, I welcome change wholeheartedly. (I'm NOT stupid.) If I really like or love something as it is, I can't imagine change being good...and I resist. Well, there are some things in my life that have become increasingly rotten and to make a change would be HUGE. Huge hassle. Huge task figuring out what would be best, what would work and fit around all the details of my life, and what results do I really want, anyway.
This week, I have begun to take action. My job has not been a good situation. I feel crushed/bruised by my superior and I have a very challenging group of students this year. The kids are FINALLY beginning to come around, but the other "garbage" is still there. I feel hurt and unwanted and it's SO hard to get up and go each day (although I'm working at even that...as much as I can.) So this week, after receiving what I think is pretty sound counsel from a friend, I started applying for other openings within our school district...a transfer. (So if you're thinking of me, you might pray for something good to come through.)
I feel better just for having decided to pursue a change. Life will still be crazy, I'm sure, but maybe it'll be the good crazy.
(I'm not saying Happy Thanksgiving until tomorrow.) :)
