Friday, October 10, 2008

Priorities, Energy, and Having No Words

::siiiiiiiiiiiiigh:: I've missed this place. And I've missed you all. And I've missed your comments. :D

My little techno-sabbatical must continue because I just need it to. I love sitting here and writing. I love sitting here and reading. And I just let too much time fly out into cyberspace.

This week has been much better in that regard and I've gotten more rest than normal. So I'm wondering why I feel so completely exhausted. I SHOULD feel at least a bit more human, right?? I haven't accomplished a whole lot more than usual, but hopefully this weekend I will wow the world, lol. I have to. My house needs to be a home and my classroom is needing some real attention in the way of some lesson plans and some center activities so it'll be an action-packed weekend with girlies here workin' and chillin' with me. They'll be chillin' and I'll be workin', but we'll all be hangin' and that's the good part. Our last weekend together was party weekend. Let's all say it together: Chuck....E....Cheese. He's freaky and the kids want to run the other way, but he has a lot of games and that's apparently what it's all about. So anyway, yada...yada...yada.

So I won't be around much this weekend. Tonight was my come on here and play night. The rest of the weekend I'm supposed to embrace responsibilities. You can cry for me, because if I cry, I won't work. If I could get some energy to help with the embracing, that would be good. If you're a praying person, you might even pray to that effect for me, if you think of it. I'll be ever indebted.

And now...the sad part.

What do you say when a friend finds out they have Hodgkins Disease? I found out just hours ago that a friend who gave birth less than a month ago to her fifth child found out this week that she has Hodgkins Disease. Another friend looked it up and shared with the rest of us what she found out...that Hodgkins is basically a cancer of the lymph nodes. I know there's a whole lot more to it, but that sounds harsh enough, doesn't it?

I really do NOT know what to say. I have a totally different belief system than she does. And I know I can still extend love to her, but I don't know how to comfort her, because the comfort I get...the comfort I rely on...and I'm talking SERIOUS comfort when life is really rocking the boat...comes from the safety of my relationship with Christ. God doesn't spare us the pain, but He's there with us every step of the us strength to take those steps...and hope and peace for our futures.

So I don't know what to say to her? She's crushed...completely crushed. I would be, too, if I were facing the same disease. Every mama wants to be there forever for her children, and anything that threatens that can be devastating. But I don't know what to say to her.

I wish I could impart faith to her. I wish I could share my Jesus with her in a way that she can see how real He is. In a way that she can feel His presence and His love. In a way that she can know His comfort, too.

So I don't know what to say to her. But I pray for her. In situations like this I pray for a person's physical healing, but I also feel led to pray for their relationship with God, too. I don't mean that in a judgemental way, either, but feel that it is an important thing to pray for a person.

I remember visiting my dad just a couple months before he passed away. He was in bad shape. While I was there, my aunt had an embolism in her brain. She was, of course, rushed to the hospital and was in intensive care. My dad, weak as he was physically, showed his strong spiritual strength and wisdom and I will never forget his prayer. He prayed and told God that we were praying for her relationship with Him, but at the moment, of most pressing need, we were praying for her physical healing, so she'd have more time here with us and time to deal with her own relationship with God.

I've always felt like it was so important (and it I'm not saying it's NOT important) to pray for someone's spiritual condition when they're facing something life-threatening. But at times I've almost felt bad praying for physical healing as a priority because the spiritual is...well...eternal. I guess I didn't feel actually bad about it, but I felt conflicted. But when my dad led us in that prayer, his voice weak, but his spirit strong, I learned even more from him.

Anyway, I'm rambling a bit away. So I guess in my loss of what to say to my friend, I'd just ask that anyone who reads this thread would pray for her. Pray for her mind and heart right now as she comes to terms with this illness. Pray for her doctors as they develop a treatment plan for her. Pray for her family as they deal with it all, too. Pray for her healing from this dreadful disease. And pray for her strength for each moment.


Sunshine said...

Ohhhh noooo...I'll be praying Hill. You know I will. Oh, this totally breaks my heart to hear.

I miss you, sweetie. Come back when you can.

Hillary said...

Thanks Sunshine. I appreciate your prayers.

I miss you, too. And I'll be back. Taking a little break (and giving the girls one) this afternoon. Then it's time to "be productive." Blegck.

Mummy said...

Nice to be able to read a bit of your writing again Hill :) I hope you have a totally productive weekend.

As for what to say, I'm feeling the same. I just feel so helpless and so far away. I can't begin to imagine what she must be going through. Of course I will be there for her every step of the way in any way I can. I just wish I could make a difference in some way. (((HUGS))) to you too Hill. You're a wonderful friend with a beautiful soul. x x

Hillary said...

Thank you, mummy, for everything.

I love you, girl.

Mummy said...

You're very welcome. love you x

Dee said...

What terrible news for your friend nd her family.. prayers for her on the way.

Hillary said...

Thank you, Dee.