"I Miss My Time With You"

I know we all hold different beliefs, but I'm going to talk personally here. Time for some serious.

Yeeeeears ago...like when I was a teenager (that really really hurt to type)...Larnelle Harris came out with a song called, "I Miss My Time With You." And although it grieves my heart to confess, I think that song is what God is singing about me these days. Here are the words...

"There he was just waiting,
in our old familiar place
an empty spot beside him,
where once i used to wait
To be filled with strength and wisdom
for the battles of the day
I would have passed him by again
If I didn't hear him say

(chorus)
I miss my time with you
Those moments together
I need to be with you each day
And it hurt's me when you say
You're too busy
Busy trying to serve me
But how can you serve me
When your spirit's empty
Tthere's a longing in my heart
Wanting more than just a part of you
It's true.......I miss my time with you

What do I have to offer
How can I truly care
My efforts have no meaning
When your presence isn't there
But you will provide the power
If I take time to pray
I'll stay right here beside you
And you will never have to say...

I miss my time with you
Those moments together
I need to be with you each day
And it hurt's me when you say
You're too busy
Busy trying to serve me
But how can you serve me
When your spirit's empty
Tthere's a longing in my heart
Wanting more than just a part of you
It's true.......I miss my time with you"

(If you care to hear it, youtube will oblige at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtDoQUQuQBQ)

That song stung my heart all those years ago...and it still does today. I struggle...and always have...with anything involving discipline. (Thank God for a high metabolism...seriously.) And along those lines of discipline come the spiritual discipline of taking time out of each day just to spend in God's word. To allow Him to speak to me and to teach me His ways and His wisdom. To be with Him and draw upon His strength.

And the thing is...the thing that makes that song speak so loudly to me...is the personal nature of it. God, through Jesus, is very personal with me. I know some don't understand it. I know some haven't experienced it. And I know that some aren't interested right now. And that grieves my heart. It really does. How much a person misses by not experiencing the personal relationship we can have with Jesus. It's not a matter of rules...of do's and don'ts. It's not even JUST a matter of eternity, life after death...it's about here and now. It's about hope and strength in the middle of a world that doesn't offer much. It's about love and joy when things around us can bring such unhappiness. It's about healing and wholeness in the midst of disease and brokenness.

It may sound to some like I'm preaching (if you've bothered to read this far.) But I don't mean it that way at all. I don't mean it as judgement or a setting of myself above anyone else. Because YOUR relationship with God is personal, too. And anyway, your relationship with Him isn't even why I'm writing this.

I'm talking about my own. What is God saying to me these days? Well...a few things. First would be the message of the song...that He misses me.

Secondly, I think if He were sitting here and speaking with audible voice, He'd be telling me that He is all I need. Something in my heart has always wanted "someone" to fill it. I've loved the Lord and spiritually He IS enough. But I get my sight off Him and I long for a human to tell me that they love me...that they choose me...that they want to be with me more than anyone else in the world. And I get so absorbed in that longing, that I don't give God time. And how can He be all I need if I don't let Him in like I should? If my focus isn't on Him? So I think that would be a big thing He'd say, too.

And thirdly, I think He'd tell me that I'm not alone. That I don't have to carry everything alone. I struggle as a single mom, trying to be everything an entire family and household need. And I get to pitying the situation and feeling like I'm in it alone. But the truth is, I'm not. If I could count the times I've specifically realized that God provided or came through for me there wouldn't be enough space on this blog. And there are heaps more that only He realizes because...well...sometimes I'm clueless. (Please don't tell anyone; my cluelessness is a secret.)

I'm sure He could come up with a whole lot more to say. And Him being the wise one, I'm sure He'd have other truth that I wouldn't even suspect....but it would meet a need and it would heal a hurt and it would bring me another step closer to wholeness.

I love God. I love Jesus. I know to some that sounds like mumbo jumbo...something someone just says, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Without Him, I'm nothing. There have been plenty of people in this world who prove that's about the value they'd place on me. But WITH Him...I'm SOMEONE. To Him, I have worth.

So I'm thinking it's time I started giving Him more time. Give Him the chance again to work in my heart.

Just thought I'd share....