Saturday, September 13, 2008

Redefining Shame and Mortification

So you think you know shame? Acquainted with mortification, are ya? Come take a stroll with me as I redefine these words.

This is yet another story that involves my good friend, Kristen. You know...my Mamma Mia enabler??? Yeah, that one. Only this time.....she's not to blame.

Before I can redefine shame and mortification for you, you need to know Kristen. Or at least need to know a bit about her. You see, Kristen and I talk on the phone every day...multiple times. In fact, if she doesn't catch up with me on a given day, she nearly sends out a search party to find out what's happened to me. She's that kind of friend. One you love and who loves you and...well...you know...a keeper.

And you know, our conversations are just the norm...

"Bark!"
"Bark!"
"When are we going to stop doing that?"
"I don't know...when we find something better?"
"Okay."

(What? That's not a normal conversation?? Well then, the rest of the world is really missing out.)

Ok... that was a little off the subject. Here's the conversation I was thinking of...

Me: Hey, whatcha doin'?
K: Mopping my kitchen.
Me: But...you mopped it yesterday.
K: I know. I mop it everyday.
Me: Alrighty then.
---
Me: Hey, whatcha up to?
K: Steaming the playroom carpet.
Me: But...you just steamed it a couple days ago.
K: I know, but it needs it.
Me: Alrighty then.
---
Me: So, what's goin' on?
K: Cleaning the bathrooms.
Me: But...you...oh nevermind.
K: Hang on, you're going to hear a flush. I'm NOT using the bathroom, I just cleaned the toilet. ::flush::
Me: Alrighty then.
---
Me: Hey, what are you going to do tonight?
K: ::insert your favorite cleaning task::
Me: Again??
K: Hey, I've got four kids!! I've GOT to!
Me: Alrighty then.
---
You get the idea, right? Here's the Cliff's Notes: Kristen cleans A LOT...almost all the time. Seriously. Now that you've got this glimpse of her, prepare for the redefinition of shame and mortification.

Let's back track in time a bit...about four years, I'd guess...maybe three. And let's see, that was two "houses" ago...in my condo, to be exact. I had set up an appointment with some financial advising/planning people and it had been last-minute. I hurried home, forgetting what a mess I'd left my kitchen in. And my kitchen was the entry-way to my condo. So, I know these two squeaky clean men are coming into my house to let me know what they've come up with with my numbers. That's embarrassing enough. And now I have this horror of a kitchen to get "clean" in just a few minutes time. I filled the dishwasher with dirty dishes and still had a few plates and pans. In a panic, I opened the oven and shoved them in. Whew!! A few minutes later the men came. We sat down, went over the numbers, etc., etc., and they left, and I got on with my afternoon.

That was in April. Now fast-forward to the middle of July. Kristen, her hubby (who's a neat-freak, there's just no other way to put it), and her four little girls come to spend a week with my girls and I in our condo. We were much like sardines in a can, but we had so much fun. But I'm a little nervous. I'm soooo laid back and she NEVER heard me answer her question of "Whatcha doin'?" with "cleaning." That's not to say I never clean, but really, sometimes, it's hard to tell.

Anyway, the big day comes and they arrive ready for a week of fun in the Florida sun. Either that night or the next day, she goes into the kitchen to make something. She opens the oven door and..........................I don't know if I can say it..........................................she finds these plates and pans that have been in there since April. And they were stuck together with syrup.

Do I HAVE to go on? Is that NOT shame and mortificiation in action????

It was hard to explain, lol.

Maybe I should have just barked.

Yes, they still give me grief about it. However, I can just return fire with "At least I don't leave used baby diapers under my friends' couches for their dogs to find and eat!!! ::gag::heave::gag::cough::spew::gag::


P.S. - I don't really bake a lot.

3 comments:

Dee said...

Personally, I would laugh if I found that in my friends oven, she sounds a bit like you, so no big deal, but I can imagine your mortification. I left milk in a little milk frothing machine and put it away "for a long time", when I got it out, it had eaten the metal stuff inside... not even able to save that one.

Mummy said...

Oh NO!!!! That's too funny Hill!!!

Sunshine said...

Oh NoWAH.

By the way...if we talked on the phone mulitple times a day, at some point you would hear my toilet flush too. I'm just saying...