Books, books, books

Reading...it was my first real hobby, my first real passion aside from my spiritual life. Then along came this computer and distracted me for about 5 years easily...but I'm rediscovering books. And I still love them!

But something has happened. It hasn't been a drastic change but there was a time I'd rather poke my eyes out than read non-fiction. Give me fiction! And please, make sure there's a good love story in it somewhere. No trash please. Just a good wonderful love story that gives me hope that there ARE men like that out there. However, I must have grown up these past 5 years because I've found that there ARE SOME non-fiction selections I can appreciate.

Before I delve into them, I have to stop and pay some homage to the best piece of fiction ever written: The Last Sin Eater, by Francine Rivers. Go to your library or a bookstore IMMEDIATELY and get it. It's amazing.

Ok, now back to my new-found appreciation for non-fiction. I have found that there are areas of my heart and soul which I need to pay attention to. I've found that there are corners that have been bruised over the years and they need healing. Ignoring them does not bring healing. So a couple days ago I was out and not planning on buying any books. I'm seriously trying to be very frugal right now and not spend a penny more than I should. But there were three books I could NOT turn away from. And not in a sense of "I HAVE TO HAVE IT!! I WAAAAAAAAAANT IT!" but more like.... Like.... Like I'd look at it, then put it down, thinking "Later. I can wait." And then feeling a nudge inside telling me to get it. So I finally paid heed to the nudge (which I believe is the Holy Spirit giving me some guidance, speaking to my heart) and I bought them.

I've begun two of the three, and really am anxious to start the third one, but just haven't yet. Two of these books are about changes in me. The first is "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul." You can bank on me coming back to share some neat stuff I'll learn from that one. It's off to a good start, but I don't have any particular "nuggets" to share just yet. The second is "Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life," by Gary Chapman. It's the one I'm still looking forward to. It has a chapter on forgiveness which was the hook for me. More on that another day. The third is "Have a New Kid by Friday." Anyone who knows me also knows how badly I'd like to have more kids. Being single, I'm thinking this book might be my only present hope. Ok, just kidding. It's about discipline. The subtitle is "How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior, and Character in 5 Days." It's by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm already intrigued by it and can hardly wait to finish and IMPLEMENT the strategies. It's fascinating. I haven't finished it but already feel comfy recommending it to others. My prayer is that I can stick to it. I want desperately to be more patient, kind, and gentle with my girls...............but more firm, too. I want to set an example for them of self-control, even when I'm displeased. And I want to teach them better obedience (like first-time obedience) and more respect. The book gives me some hope and I'm enjoying the read, too.

I suppose that's it. Nothing earth-shaking. Nothing funny. Just sharing because these books represent some big changes I want to make in ME.

I Should Have Been a Singer

Don't laugh at me. I should have! NOT A Capella...because I like to jump to a variety of keys if I have no accompaniment. And then there's a little...wait, strike that, ... BIG problem I have with timing and rhythm. But I should have been a singer.

I'm tellin' ya. I'm a real pied piper. If I sing...they come.

You think I'm joking. Today, my girls were playing "office" in Alli's room. Alli was apparently giving some career counseling to Megan, from what I heard. (She found out Megan is good at making sandwiches and recommended she try working for Subway.) I headed for the kitchen, thinking I'd clean when I saw the cd player sitting there...and I KNEW what was in it. I couldn't resist. I went over and pumped up the volume and began singing and dancing to the soundtrack from Mamma Mia! I was having the time of my life and convincing my children that I am among the stranger creatures on the planet. I went boogeying down the hall and began lip-synching as I peeked around the corner of the career counselor's doorway. At first I just got smiles from the counselor and giggles from her client. I headed back to the kitchen. But it was too much fun to have alone, so back down the hall I went and I began more lip-synching and peeking into the counselor's office. This time Little Miss Counselor said, somewhat politely, "Mom, you're interrupting." Her client just laughed and did some lip-synching of her own. Ooooookay, back to the kitchen. It was better in there anyway; the music was louder.

Confession: I didn't pay much heed to my chastisement for interrupting. Nope, I went right back down that hall repeatedly because you just can't stop the music sometimes.

But finally, along came "The Dancing Queen." You can't lip-synch to "The Dancing Queen." No way, Jose. You have to belt it out. It's the only way. So I did. Megan couldn't take it anymore and came running down the hall to sing and dance along. Alli, still the career counselor, tried to maintain her professional image and stayed in her office, until I finally cried out, "Come on, Alli! You KNOW you want to!" And vrooooooooooooooooooooooom, out came Alli.

I was thrilled. Now we could REALLY have fun...or so I thought.

But I was wrong.

Alli shot right past me and............

turned off the music.

That does it. Tomorrow I'm breaking out "Music & Lyrics."

She'll wish she'd danced.

The Gender Question

After sharing my last blog (Dad's been there.), I got to thinking of the funny little stories from my own kids. Kids can be so stinkin' funny.

When my youngest was 4, I think, we lived in a condo where the cutest little dog named "Happy" lived next door. Happy was a sweet little guy and both my girls loved him. One evening after we had been visiting with Happy's lady :) Alli asked me, "Mom? Is Happy a female?....or an e-mail?"

Hmmmm...tough question.

No kisses on the lips for you!!

My brother has a little boy who looks just like my brother when he was a small fry. He's five years old now and adorable as he can be. We just got back from spending a couple weeks visiting them and my mom. My nephew would come running and it was such a sight to see...arms and legs flying all over the place. There's good entertainment in watching five year olds run. If you haven't done so, you should make a point to watch.

Anyway, my nephew refuses to kiss his mama on the lips. Absolutely refuses. He's adamant about it. Finally one day, his mama asked him why he wouldn't kiss her lips. His reply??? "Dad's been there."

Looooooooooooooooove it.

TOO MUCH CAFFEINE!!!...leads to COOTIES!

So, this summer I've been trying to "ease up" on drinking soda...pop...coke...whatever you call it in your neck of the woods. Universal translation: 16 TBS of Sugar in a can. You'd think I'd have some hyperactivity, wouldn't you? You'd think the stuff would be a bit chewy, wouldn't you?? Anyway, you'll notice that I said, "ease up." I meant it. I'm NOT quitting; that would be ridiculous. It's a comfort food for me, AND I have to keep up with kindergarteners...a whole roomful of them, for crying out loud. PLUS in the "almost three" years I lived in Africa, Coke probably saved my life. I KNOW it kept me from (pardon me for saying so) HURLING on numerous occasions. So I OWE soda the courtesy of continuing to drink it.

Well, I'd done really well until I decided it was time to get as frugal as I can. By "easing up" I basically intended to not drink more than one soda a day, if that. There have been many days I've done just that...one or less. I've felt rather good about that. But as I've started pinching pennies, I got to thinking. When I get the cravings for a soda, I will run to fast food, or a convenience store, or grab a single serving at a check out. That adds up.......fast. So I decided to grab some at the store...a 6 or 12-pack. And when I got there I saw the little 8oz cans and thought, "How perfect!" because that would be like 1/2 a can a day which is even better than a whole can. Then I compared prices and yadda yadda yadda, I walked out with THREE 12-packs of soda. I'm a genius. That was three days ago and I'll bet you there's at LEAST 12 empty cans on my kitchen counter. (WHERE IS MY RECYCLING BIN????) So much for doing well. MUST get back with the program...and WILL........won't I?

Anyway, "TOO MUCH CAFFEINE ...leads to COOTIES!" is my topic, not "I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL AROUND SODA/POP/COKE", so I'd best get to the point. Yesterday, after who knows how many Pepsi or Wild Cherry Pepsi, it eventually becomes bedtime. There I sat in bed...1am...heart thumping...mind reeling. Stupid caffeine. I got to thinking and somehow relived all the BIG memories of my elementary school years...one grade at a time, lol. I'm not dishing it all out today, so don't worry, supper won't burn while you read up, but I WILL share about the cooties. (So glad, aren't you?)

It was third grade. A little boy rode the same bus I did. We'll call him Pete to protect his anonymity, lol. Pete was not a popular kid. Neither was I, but I think he was just one of those kids who got ignored or worse most of the time. He wore black rimmed glasses when they were definitely NOT the style and they were thick as could be, and sadly, I think those glasses...and a bit of an overbite...influenced how he was treated. We all know how kids can be, right? Well, I was the little girl who was never unkind to anyone (unless you count that bully when I was in kindergarten...boy did HE catch an earful...HEY, HE HAD IT COMING!!!..but that's for another day.) So I was always nice to Pete, like I was to everyone. Well Pete had a crush on me....which in retrospect was kind of cool, because he was the ONLY guy to ever have a crush on me...unless you count a guy named "Animal" in high school. Oh help. Anyway...coooties....FOCUS! One morning on the way to school, the bus stopped to pick up another kid, and out of nowhere, Pete comes zooming up, kisses my cheek and zooms back to the back of the bus and dives for cover. So what does Hill, FULL OF GRACE, do? She sobs. I was shocked. I was furious. I was mortified. Did he NOT know that in 3rd grade, the passing of the cooties is greatly frowned upon?????????? Oh how my world fell apart. I rushed off the bus and into the bathroom and tried to calm down and get into class without being late. He was in my class of course and I refused to even look his way for some time. Of course by the time I got to class, everyone in class knew what Pete had done. So on top of giving me cooties, he furthered my mortification (and I'd thought it was already complete, ha!) by telling the entire class. Interestingly enough he followed me in line later that day or week saying, "You can beat me with your baton if you want." He was sorry. I eventually forgave him, but the damage was done. I had cooties. ::sniff::

And no, I did NOT beat him with my baton. No comment on how badly tempted I may or may not have been to do so.

See? Too much caffeine leads to cooties. That should be impetus to give up the caffeine, I'm thinking.

Where has summer gone??

Oh the summer temperatures haven't gone anywhere, no doubt about that, but our summer break is all but gone. One week from today I head back to my classroom to prepare for another batch of kindergarteners...but I'm already grieving the loss of summer. It's kind of like going on vacation to see someone really dear. My first day there I already start the countdown in my head..."I've only got six more days with them" and sadness hits. The sadness goes while you're having fun, but each night as you ready for bed you tick off another day and think, "I've ONLY got...."

Why IS that? I would like SO badly to just enjoy the moments and let them be wonderful. I mean, being together with loved ones is so important and so wonderful, so why can't we just save the "missing" for when we're apart. I wish I understood that better and could keep from feeling that way. I work at it...but it's just that - WORK.

Anyway, nevermind that. I'm feeling rather meloncholy tonight...I have for several days. I have so much to be thankful for. If I listed the blessings God has given and is giving...known to me and unknown to/unnoticed by me, the list would be so great. Yet, I feel meloncholy. I get a bit tired of being the person I am right now. I want to be GREAT. And I don't mean that in terms of success that the world recognizes. I just know I could do so much better at so many things and in so many ways, yet I've settled for some time...due to a form of depression (not a chemical thing, but circumstantial I think)...and I've been tired of it for some time, but how does one pull oneself OUT of it? That still, small voice I recognize as God's tells me that He's the one who pulls us out...that one doesn't do it on one's own....BUT there are things, practically speaking, that a person has to do to help with the process, I think. And I'm failing in making the grade I think.

(Sheesh, maybe I shouldn't blog late at night. WHAT an UPPER!)

I'm sitting in the middle of my queen-size bed between two sleeping girls. Tonight's going to be crowded! I can't tell my girls "no" every night, (though I manage to rule it out during school weeks) no matter how crowded and uncomfy it is for me. I mean they just want to be with me. How special is that? I love them. They're incredible.

Okay, I'm winding down this rambling mess. I should really have written earlier today...like when the girls and I were singing and dancing around to "The Dancing Queen."

Later.....

Taking the Plunge...

Aww man!! Taking the Plunge (Take two....since I just deleted it all in one fell swoop.)

Where on earth does one begin when one begins to blog? I have no idea, so let the rambling begin!

As a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a mom and, when work would be necessary, a teacher. Now I'm a kindergarten teacher and teaching is NOT the critter it was when I was a kid. I find myself torn. Teaching fits my schedule and (basic) needs as a single mom, but I've found that I am not doing what I love.

Over the past decade and a half, I've developed an increasing desire to be a writer. So what have I done about that? Hmmmmmmmmm...that would be NOTHING.

So, while blogging isn't exactly a career change, it is a step in the "write" direction. Pardon the pun. Who knows? This just might be interesting...